I'm feeling really rundown today, but I think it's just the weather constantly changing...i refuse to admit that its because I didn't eat lunch until 2 and it was only a protein bar. That's completely irrelevant =P
I did an hour on the treadmill and 30 minutes of pilates yesterday. The good news is that I'm not that sore so I guess I'm getting used to it. The bad news, I snuck a peak at the scale and I'm at the exact same weight. I think I just need to drink more water to flush some stuff through my system but I'm not sure. I really do need to hide my scale and drag it out once a week cause I'm starting to get scale obsessed again.
Food intake is decent, I'm pretty sure that I should have eaten more today, but i'll make it up for it at dinner I suppose. Though dinner's gotta be fast cause I have 30 minutes from the time I get home until I have to leave for my WCJC class. I'll figure it out. The good news is that with the metformin I don't seem to be as hungry as I have been so it's easier to eat the way i'm supposed to, but than again it's also easier to eat less than i'm supposed to. Luckily my blood sugar drops pretty low if I start doing that so I don't do it regularly- usualy onlly T/Th when I have class all day.
After class I'm going to attempt to another hour on the treadmill, but I dont really know if I'm going to have time to do that or not. We'll see. This is going to be so much easier when summer gets here and I don't have to stress about school or timing issues or anything else.
I'm hoping to be at my 10 pound mark this weekend. I've lost 7 pounds thus far, so I'm aiming for 3 pounds this week but i'm not sure that's going to happen...but if it doesn't, it's not for a lack of trying. General goal is 175 (20 pounds gone) by May 14th (my boyfriends sisters wedding) and my final goal (which I have no idea what it is yet...170? 165?) is June 12th, the 2 year anniversay with Ryan. Both of those are events that will most likely require dressing up so I'm looking forward to buying 2 really nice dresses for the occassions. But I don't get the pretty dress unless I lose the weight
Sorry I know this is rambling, I just got out of astronomy and my brain is fried and my body is tired, but my brain is completely wired!! I think it's cause I went to Starbucks and had a chai latte and I haven't had caffiene in quite a while? but that was this morning so i don't know why it would be kicking in now. Anyway....enough rambling for now. I'll post tomorrow about today's dinner and exercise. Tomorrow's Wednesday so I should also get to have my walk with Ryan tomorrow =)
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Monday, March 30, 2009
Day 15
New week, new outlook =) I usually don't exercise on the weekends, but I felt like getting on the treadmill last night (which is kind of weird for me!!) so I did for an hour and I feel much better today. I may try to exercise 6/7 days this week, maybe jump start a little more weight loss.
I've also been taking all of my supplements and am starting to feel a difference. I don't think it's helping me lose weight but I feel less worn down...it's been a while since I've felt like I got hit by a bus =) haha, seriously though, it's been helping quite a bit.
This weeks goal...hmmm, I really don't know. I think it's going to be to relieve stress and I don't have a clue in hell how that's going to happen!! Maybe I'll take some bubble baths and get my nails done and that kind of stuff. I'm not sure yet, but the stress is making it harder to lose weight and its making me a basket case. Luckily my friend gets to leave the hospital today (praise God!!) and I only have one exam this week. In shouldn't be that bad of a week. I just need to work hard to keep everything in perspective. I think the goal, as general as it is, is to take time for me every day this week. Maybe its giving myself time to read a book or take a bath or whatever, that's my goal (Ryan would be proud)
On that note, I'm going to get my lazy butt downstairs and start getting ready for the day =)
I've also been taking all of my supplements and am starting to feel a difference. I don't think it's helping me lose weight but I feel less worn down...it's been a while since I've felt like I got hit by a bus =) haha, seriously though, it's been helping quite a bit.
This weeks goal...hmmm, I really don't know. I think it's going to be to relieve stress and I don't have a clue in hell how that's going to happen!! Maybe I'll take some bubble baths and get my nails done and that kind of stuff. I'm not sure yet, but the stress is making it harder to lose weight and its making me a basket case. Luckily my friend gets to leave the hospital today (praise God!!) and I only have one exam this week. In shouldn't be that bad of a week. I just need to work hard to keep everything in perspective. I think the goal, as general as it is, is to take time for me every day this week. Maybe its giving myself time to read a book or take a bath or whatever, that's my goal (Ryan would be proud)
On that note, I'm going to get my lazy butt downstairs and start getting ready for the day =)
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Day 14
Well I hit the 2 week mark and weighted in at 188.4 (not sure about the 4...maybe 2...or 8?). I'm not thrilled but I can't complain. I didn't gain any weight this week and I even managed to lose a few pounds. It is definitely a step in the right direction.
My boyfriend, Ryan, and I had a really difficult talk last night. I'll spare the long story but basically it was about how he was tired of seeing me give up on myself and, as he so delicately put it, I need to "stop that shit" =P Seriously though, it was a really good conversation about how I believe in everybody else and take time to help everybody else but I don't take time for me and I definitely don't believe in myself. It gave me a lot to think about. If nothing else it gave me more motivation to get through the upcoming week. I'm reaching that hill that I rarely get past so it's really important that I find motivation in the next few weeks.
Only 4 weeks til classes are out (still have finals though, boo =(!!) I'm glad it's coming soon, it's so much easier to eat well and exercise when I don't have the pressures and time constraints of school.
Anyway, I need to go finish a paper and get on the treadmill.
My boyfriend, Ryan, and I had a really difficult talk last night. I'll spare the long story but basically it was about how he was tired of seeing me give up on myself and, as he so delicately put it, I need to "stop that shit" =P Seriously though, it was a really good conversation about how I believe in everybody else and take time to help everybody else but I don't take time for me and I definitely don't believe in myself. It gave me a lot to think about. If nothing else it gave me more motivation to get through the upcoming week. I'm reaching that hill that I rarely get past so it's really important that I find motivation in the next few weeks.
Only 4 weeks til classes are out (still have finals though, boo =(!!) I'm glad it's coming soon, it's so much easier to eat well and exercise when I don't have the pressures and time constraints of school.
Anyway, I need to go finish a paper and get on the treadmill.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Day 13
I think I quit...which I probably don't actually mean, but I really want to quit. I weighed this morning just out of curiosity and I haven't lost anything this week. Not a single pound, or part of a pound, or anything. I don't know what else I could have done. I ate great all week, I exercised 4/5 of the past days for at least an hour....what the hell?? I'm going to hope that I'm just bloated and if I drink lots of water it'll flush some of that stuff out of my system....but really? Why the hell did I not lose any weight?!?!
It's just infuriating, especially when stuff like last night happens. So mom didn't feel like cooking so we were going to go to Sweet Tomatoes last night for a nice salad and whatever which I was excited about. When we got there there wasn't a single parking space so we decided against that. So we looked around us and the only restaurant close was Fuddruckers. So we go to fuddruckers....which if I wasn't on a diet it would have been fine. It's really hard to order a salad at Fuddruckers!! Anyway, point being that I feel like I'm showing a great deal of self-restraint and stuff and I don't understand why that's not paying off.
I know I'm whining a lot, and I appologize...I'm just really frustrated this morning and don't really know what to do about it. I just need a great deal of encouragement today. I'm sure today will be fine and tomorrow will be a new day, but right now I just want to crawl back into bed and stay there!
It's just infuriating, especially when stuff like last night happens. So mom didn't feel like cooking so we were going to go to Sweet Tomatoes last night for a nice salad and whatever which I was excited about. When we got there there wasn't a single parking space so we decided against that. So we looked around us and the only restaurant close was Fuddruckers. So we go to fuddruckers....which if I wasn't on a diet it would have been fine. It's really hard to order a salad at Fuddruckers!! Anyway, point being that I feel like I'm showing a great deal of self-restraint and stuff and I don't understand why that's not paying off.
I know I'm whining a lot, and I appologize...I'm just really frustrated this morning and don't really know what to do about it. I just need a great deal of encouragement today. I'm sure today will be fine and tomorrow will be a new day, but right now I just want to crawl back into bed and stay there!
Friday, March 27, 2009
Day 12 con'td
Well I got almost everything off of my list so I'm a little less stressed out than I was =) Diet's been decent too- Breakfast was cheerios and fruit, lunch was a ham and egg sandwich (all we had in the house), snack was some fat free yogurt, and we're having grilled chicken breast with vegetables tonight.
I found myself getting really mad today at the fact that I even have to diet. I went grocery shopping and it seemed like all the food I love was there, ya know? I mean obviously it was...cause its a grocery store...but anyway, I just found myself getting really mad that I couldn't eat it. I know that's dumb and that its just food and whatever, but I almost started crying right then and there. I got over it, but it's about this point in the diet where that anger and frustration usually starts kicking in so I'm just trying to stop that ya know? I just get so frustrated when these skinny little people have their carts loaded with fattening and sugary foods and chubby little me has fat free yogurt and lettuce. I do console myself by imaging that in 10 years they'll be fat..which is probably mean now that I say that. But anyway, I just get frustrated because I feel like I work my butt off to loose 5 pounds and here's little miss barbie eating her chips and drinking her beer and what not who doesn't weight 100 pounds soaking wet!!!!! *ahem* I'm sorry, it's been a long day and I'm tired and frustrated. I'm sure this will all be worth it in the end but right now I really just want to throw in the towel and eat ice cream!
I found myself getting really mad today at the fact that I even have to diet. I went grocery shopping and it seemed like all the food I love was there, ya know? I mean obviously it was...cause its a grocery store...but anyway, I just found myself getting really mad that I couldn't eat it. I know that's dumb and that its just food and whatever, but I almost started crying right then and there. I got over it, but it's about this point in the diet where that anger and frustration usually starts kicking in so I'm just trying to stop that ya know? I just get so frustrated when these skinny little people have their carts loaded with fattening and sugary foods and chubby little me has fat free yogurt and lettuce. I do console myself by imaging that in 10 years they'll be fat..which is probably mean now that I say that. But anyway, I just get frustrated because I feel like I work my butt off to loose 5 pounds and here's little miss barbie eating her chips and drinking her beer and what not who doesn't weight 100 pounds soaking wet!!!!! *ahem* I'm sorry, it's been a long day and I'm tired and frustrated. I'm sure this will all be worth it in the end but right now I really just want to throw in the towel and eat ice cream!
Day 12
Well we're nearing the end of the week =) which means I don't have to exercise for a few days =P haha Have I mentioned how much I hate the treadmill???
I hit a milestone this morning, I got into my skinny gap jeans...ok so they're size 12 but 1) I haven't worn a 12 in a while and 2) these jeans have NO give, you either fit of you don't. So I'm excited! In a few pounds they'll fit better but they fit well enough for me to wear them today which is such an exciting thing for me.
I have sooooooo much stuff to do today so I better get to it, if I have time I'll update later tonight about today's diet and exercise.
I hit a milestone this morning, I got into my skinny gap jeans...ok so they're size 12 but 1) I haven't worn a 12 in a while and 2) these jeans have NO give, you either fit of you don't. So I'm excited! In a few pounds they'll fit better but they fit well enough for me to wear them today which is such an exciting thing for me.
I have sooooooo much stuff to do today so I better get to it, if I have time I'll update later tonight about today's diet and exercise.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Day 11
I really meant to post yesterday but it was another one of those crazy up and down days that I'm not going to get into
On a bright note I have officially lost 5 pounds (not that I got on the scale or anything...ahem) so I got my massage yesterday. After the day I had it was HEAVENLY! I don't know if I was just really stressed but it was hands down the best massage I have ever had. I'm very glad I did that =)
Went on an hour walk last night with Ryan and did an hour on the treadmill tonight. I'm going to try to do some pilates *grumble grumble* tomorrow to work on my core. I hate working out, not going to lie, but people keep telling me that if i get used to it I'll learn to love it. I hope that's true because I dread it!!
As far as eating, today was good =) Cereal and fruit for breakfast, turkey sandwich and fruit for lunch, 90 calorie rice cakes for snack, egg beaters and a piece of whole wheat toast for dinner and strawberries and fat free sugar free pudding for desert. This is really the first day in a while where I've gotten enough calories. It's not that I was trying to starve myself, I was just so stressed out that I would forget to eat or just grab something and use it as a meal. I do feel better after eating enough today =) hands are much less shaky and the stabbing pain in my side is gone.
So yeah, motivation is still there at day 11 which is super exciting. I'm just praying that I can keep it up. It is encouraging that I've kept up this well through all the stress. Usually when stuff like this happens I lose it and turn to food for comfort. I really feel as if the devil is throwing all this crap at me to make me stumble with this and with my walk with God. God and I have gotten in some heated discussions about why this stuff is happening and I just keep hearing him telling me to put my trust in him- so here it goes Lord!!
On a bright note I have officially lost 5 pounds (not that I got on the scale or anything...ahem) so I got my massage yesterday. After the day I had it was HEAVENLY! I don't know if I was just really stressed but it was hands down the best massage I have ever had. I'm very glad I did that =)
Went on an hour walk last night with Ryan and did an hour on the treadmill tonight. I'm going to try to do some pilates *grumble grumble* tomorrow to work on my core. I hate working out, not going to lie, but people keep telling me that if i get used to it I'll learn to love it. I hope that's true because I dread it!!
As far as eating, today was good =) Cereal and fruit for breakfast, turkey sandwich and fruit for lunch, 90 calorie rice cakes for snack, egg beaters and a piece of whole wheat toast for dinner and strawberries and fat free sugar free pudding for desert. This is really the first day in a while where I've gotten enough calories. It's not that I was trying to starve myself, I was just so stressed out that I would forget to eat or just grab something and use it as a meal. I do feel better after eating enough today =) hands are much less shaky and the stabbing pain in my side is gone.
So yeah, motivation is still there at day 11 which is super exciting. I'm just praying that I can keep it up. It is encouraging that I've kept up this well through all the stress. Usually when stuff like this happens I lose it and turn to food for comfort. I really feel as if the devil is throwing all this crap at me to make me stumble with this and with my walk with God. God and I have gotten in some heated discussions about why this stuff is happening and I just keep hearing him telling me to put my trust in him- so here it goes Lord!!
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Day 9
Today's been emotionally draining. Lauren's gotten worse which was hard news to hear during class. I've also had to play counselor for a few people today- which i love doing but I'm so stressed with internships and school and stuff that it was enough to drain me. It probably doesn't help that I've only had a glucerna bar, fruit, and a handful of cheerios. My hands are so shaky, its hard to type. I'm going to try to exercise but I don't know if I'll have time after I get out of class at 7. Remind me why I chose to go to class from 8:30-7 on Tuesdays and Thursday? =P Oh well, I'll be glad when I get to graduate a semester early =)
I weighed this morning, just out of curiosity and it was the same...which shouldn't have been disheartening but it was. I'm just telling myself that I'm on my period so I'm bloated and just weigh more? I don't know if that really works but it makes me feel much better.
It sucks that all this stuff had to happen right now- I was doing so great on my diet and exercise and now everything feels like its going to hell because there are so many things to focus on that seem more important than weight loss. This always happens. I do really well and than the shit hits the fan and I stop dieting to focus on other things. I think I made a decision today though- even though all of this stuff is going on, and even though I want to help everyone I can, I also need to take time for me and if that means no 3 hour counseling sessions because your boyfriends a moron than so be it. I just need to focus on this right now and I'm praying that I'll be able to.
I weighed this morning, just out of curiosity and it was the same...which shouldn't have been disheartening but it was. I'm just telling myself that I'm on my period so I'm bloated and just weigh more? I don't know if that really works but it makes me feel much better.
It sucks that all this stuff had to happen right now- I was doing so great on my diet and exercise and now everything feels like its going to hell because there are so many things to focus on that seem more important than weight loss. This always happens. I do really well and than the shit hits the fan and I stop dieting to focus on other things. I think I made a decision today though- even though all of this stuff is going on, and even though I want to help everyone I can, I also need to take time for me and if that means no 3 hour counseling sessions because your boyfriends a moron than so be it. I just need to focus on this right now and I'm praying that I'll be able to.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Day 8
Sorry I didn't update yesterday...it was a weird day. First let me say that I lost 4 pounds this week and am at 189.8 right now =)
Anyway, Ryan and I went to the rodeo which was fun but we didn't get back until almost 10. When we got home, mom informed me that my best friend from high school was in ICU with fluid filled lungs, kidney failure, and septic shock. Needless to say after all of that I just wanted to go to bed. And then this morning my friend told me that she broke off her engagement...and my interviews today and I have a paper due tomorrow and one due wednesday and I have to go to the hospital tonight and AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
*ahem* I'm feeling a little (and by a little I mean ridiculously) over whelmed right now. On a brighter note I got up and worked out for an hour this morning so I can cross that off my list. THough I'm thinking that when I get home I'm going to do some pilates or something because I need something to distract me and calm me down because right now I am anything but calm and I can feel it doing bad things to my stomach.
Anyway, I need to go get ready for my interview, wish me luck!!
Anyway, Ryan and I went to the rodeo which was fun but we didn't get back until almost 10. When we got home, mom informed me that my best friend from high school was in ICU with fluid filled lungs, kidney failure, and septic shock. Needless to say after all of that I just wanted to go to bed. And then this morning my friend told me that she broke off her engagement...and my interviews today and I have a paper due tomorrow and one due wednesday and I have to go to the hospital tonight and AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
*ahem* I'm feeling a little (and by a little I mean ridiculously) over whelmed right now. On a brighter note I got up and worked out for an hour this morning so I can cross that off my list. THough I'm thinking that when I get home I'm going to do some pilates or something because I need something to distract me and calm me down because right now I am anything but calm and I can feel it doing bad things to my stomach.
Anyway, I need to go get ready for my interview, wish me luck!!
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Day 6
I usually don't post this early but I'm going to be gone most of today. I'm going to the range to blow off some steam, hopefully it'll make me feel better. After that I have lunch with my parents, my boyfriend, and a friends brother. Then I have to drive to spring to go to a showing of an ASL video. Then I have to drive to Katy to have dinner with Ryan and his parents. Then I get to drive back here. I am NOT looking forward to today.
On a brighter note, it'l keep me good on my diet. i'm not going to have time to snack or really even be tempted to eat something that I shouldn't. We're going to Applebees for lunch and they have a ton of healthy options and Ryan's parents always cook healthy for dinner. I'm at leaset trying to be optimistic =P
I may post when i get home, but I doubt it. I'm exhausted already and I haven't even got out of bed yet!!
On a brighter note, it'l keep me good on my diet. i'm not going to have time to snack or really even be tempted to eat something that I shouldn't. We're going to Applebees for lunch and they have a ton of healthy options and Ryan's parents always cook healthy for dinner. I'm at leaset trying to be optimistic =P
I may post when i get home, but I doubt it. I'm exhausted already and I haven't even got out of bed yet!!
Friday, March 20, 2009
DAY 5
Scratch that, today has been the hardest by far! I'm sure its because I'm starting my period this coming week, but I've been so emotional about my weight today. Its been very up and down- starting with being proud of myself for looking good in this shirt I've had forever but rarely wear and then i got all upset because I couldn't fit into my skinny jeans. I don't make sense sometimes. I finally found a pair of jeans in my closet that isn't too small or too big. Looks like I'll be wearing these alot in the coming weeks. There's still that hope that my skinny jeans will fit sooner rather than later. I suppose size 12 hardly counts as "skinny" but it's much better than the 16s I was wearing. I'm holding steady at a 14 now...not that bad but I'm impatient. i just want this to be over!!
I feel bad for those that are trying to help me, especially Ryan. He's been so supportive and great but he just doesn't understand because he's never had to deal with it himself. His body is pretty damn near perfect! Ok maybe i'm a little biased =P but he does have a really nice body. I've always felt insecure about that. I feel like when we go out people look at him and then look at me and wonder what he's doing with me, ya know? It's probably ridiculous, but I just feel really insecure about it.
I really need to get over all of these insecurities. I have always hoped that losing the weight would make them go away...but now i'm starting to think that no matter how skinny I am I'm going to have to face these demons. It's better to do it now I think...maybe?
Anyway, enough ranting. I gotta go make dinner. I'm kind of nervous about it, but I'm pretty determined to just have some fat free yogurt while everyone eats their cobbler. I wish I didn't love mom's cobbler so much!!!
I feel bad for those that are trying to help me, especially Ryan. He's been so supportive and great but he just doesn't understand because he's never had to deal with it himself. His body is pretty damn near perfect! Ok maybe i'm a little biased =P but he does have a really nice body. I've always felt insecure about that. I feel like when we go out people look at him and then look at me and wonder what he's doing with me, ya know? It's probably ridiculous, but I just feel really insecure about it.
I really need to get over all of these insecurities. I have always hoped that losing the weight would make them go away...but now i'm starting to think that no matter how skinny I am I'm going to have to face these demons. It's better to do it now I think...maybe?
Anyway, enough ranting. I gotta go make dinner. I'm kind of nervous about it, but I'm pretty determined to just have some fat free yogurt while everyone eats their cobbler. I wish I didn't love mom's cobbler so much!!!
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Day 4
Today was most definitely the hardest! Started out with me getting an e-mail that told me that I wasn't going to get the job that I thought was in the bag. I usually console myself with chocolate but obviously I can't do that now. I did an hour on the treadmill instead...not the same.
Today's also been much worse with my blood sugar and reflux. I'm so shaky, and people keep telling me that its the drugs i'm on but when i eat what i normally would I don't shake. Same with the reflux. The less I eat the more it hurts. It's kind of a sucky situation to be put in. On the one hand i'm doing great with my diet and exercise but on the other hand I feel like hell. Not really sure what to do about that one.
Hopefully tomorrow will be better. I'm making a peach cobbler for my boyfriend so I'm a little worried about that but hopefully i'll be able to have some self control and not kill a weeks worth of work.
Today's also been much worse with my blood sugar and reflux. I'm so shaky, and people keep telling me that its the drugs i'm on but when i eat what i normally would I don't shake. Same with the reflux. The less I eat the more it hurts. It's kind of a sucky situation to be put in. On the one hand i'm doing great with my diet and exercise but on the other hand I feel like hell. Not really sure what to do about that one.
Hopefully tomorrow will be better. I'm making a peach cobbler for my boyfriend so I'm a little worried about that but hopefully i'll be able to have some self control and not kill a weeks worth of work.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Day 3
My entire body hurts but I think it's the good kind of hurt? I did 30 minutes of pilates and walked for an hour today, which i realize may not sound like a whole lot to most people, but it kicked my ass!!! Hopefully my body will start getting used to this and the pain won't be so bad =P I forgot how much pilates works you out! I'm going to try for that twice/three times a week for a while and see if that helps my core. Someone suggested some other DVDs but I already have this one and I'm cheap =)
I do feel a strange sense of accomplishment though, I've worked out everyday (all 3 of them) this week. Again I realize that that's not really a lot for most people, but it's very different from where I usually am. The goal for this week was to work out every week day, only 2 more days and i get a break. wooohoo! The other goal I have for this week is to take my contacts out every night. I know that has nothing to do with weightloss but the eye doc said my eyes didn't look so fantastic, so i figure while I'm trying to change my lifestyle might as well include all aspects of my health.
I'm really looking forward to Sunday to weight....wow, that sounds so weird coming from me. I just feel like i've worked my butt off and i really want to see it pay off. I did sneak a look at the scale and it looks like i'm headed in the right direction but I'm not going to post until Sunday. I started this at ~194/195 (can't remember which) so 192ish seems like a reasonable goal for this week.
Once i lose 5 pounds I'm scheduling a massage for these aching muscles!! I cannot wait, if that's not motivation i don't know what is =P On that note I have a date with a heating pad and some advil. G'night!
I do feel a strange sense of accomplishment though, I've worked out everyday (all 3 of them) this week. Again I realize that that's not really a lot for most people, but it's very different from where I usually am. The goal for this week was to work out every week day, only 2 more days and i get a break. wooohoo! The other goal I have for this week is to take my contacts out every night. I know that has nothing to do with weightloss but the eye doc said my eyes didn't look so fantastic, so i figure while I'm trying to change my lifestyle might as well include all aspects of my health.
I'm really looking forward to Sunday to weight....wow, that sounds so weird coming from me. I just feel like i've worked my butt off and i really want to see it pay off. I did sneak a look at the scale and it looks like i'm headed in the right direction but I'm not going to post until Sunday. I started this at ~194/195 (can't remember which) so 192ish seems like a reasonable goal for this week.
Once i lose 5 pounds I'm scheduling a massage for these aching muscles!! I cannot wait, if that's not motivation i don't know what is =P On that note I have a date with a heating pad and some advil. G'night!
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Day 2
Day 1 went well and I'm actually kind of proud of myself. I got up and walked with mom this morning for an hour, it was another gorgeous morning. I'm exhausted and sore but it's the good kind of exhausted and sore, ya know? The kind where you feel like you've actually accomplished something. I had to stop myself from getting on the scale when I got back. I don't want the scale to become an obsession again, so I've decided to weigh every Sunday morning before church. Seems like a good time, start of a new week and all that stuff.
I'm praying that the motivation stays and that I can keep going. I really don't know why it's so hard...I don't think it should be, but it is. I guess it's just not a habit yet, but hopefully it will be. I actually found myself looking forward to my walk this morning and am excited about tomorrow's work out with Ryan. I find it odd, but I'm glad it hasn't been like pulling teeth like it was last time. My nutritionist said that with the PCOS I really need to be working on my core so I guess I need to incorporate that into my exercise. Right now I'm just trying to get any exercise, but I know she's right. Most of my fat is around my core (damn PCOS!!!) and walking won't get rid of it- it'll help but i need to do pilates or sit ups or something. Maybe tomorrow morning I'll do some pilates while mom's at her doctors appointments.
Anyway, off to lunch- steamed chicken, brown rice, and vegetables.
I'm praying that the motivation stays and that I can keep going. I really don't know why it's so hard...I don't think it should be, but it is. I guess it's just not a habit yet, but hopefully it will be. I actually found myself looking forward to my walk this morning and am excited about tomorrow's work out with Ryan. I find it odd, but I'm glad it hasn't been like pulling teeth like it was last time. My nutritionist said that with the PCOS I really need to be working on my core so I guess I need to incorporate that into my exercise. Right now I'm just trying to get any exercise, but I know she's right. Most of my fat is around my core (damn PCOS!!!) and walking won't get rid of it- it'll help but i need to do pilates or sit ups or something. Maybe tomorrow morning I'll do some pilates while mom's at her doctors appointments.
Anyway, off to lunch- steamed chicken, brown rice, and vegetables.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Day 1
After a near breakdown last night, I'm back on the wagon and starting the diet again. Ryan and I had a really good talk last night about a lot of things, so i'm hoping that can serve as motivation. I see the nutritionist in a little less than a month and I'd rather not repeat the last visit.
So far so good today, though the Metformin is making me pretty sick again. I got up and walked for an hour this morning- it was the perfect morning!! I've been eating pretty healthy too. I'm trying not to give my hopes up because I've been here before. I get all excited about the prospect of losing weight and than the motivation dies and I end up where I was last night.
I've decided to not weight everyday. I think that might make a big difference, because I won't see so much of the water weight fluctuation and I won't get discouraged if I go up and down during the week. I think I've also decided to do weekly goals. I think that before I was looking too much into the future and getting overwhelmed. This week's goal is to excercise for at least 45 minutes every day. It's spring break so I think it'll be easier this week.
Wish me luck
Kristin
HW-210
CW-194
GW-175ish
So far so good today, though the Metformin is making me pretty sick again. I got up and walked for an hour this morning- it was the perfect morning!! I've been eating pretty healthy too. I'm trying not to give my hopes up because I've been here before. I get all excited about the prospect of losing weight and than the motivation dies and I end up where I was last night.
I've decided to not weight everyday. I think that might make a big difference, because I won't see so much of the water weight fluctuation and I won't get discouraged if I go up and down during the week. I think I've also decided to do weekly goals. I think that before I was looking too much into the future and getting overwhelmed. This week's goal is to excercise for at least 45 minutes every day. It's spring break so I think it'll be easier this week.
Wish me luck
Kristin
HW-210
CW-194
GW-175ish
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